mandag 9. februar 2015

More about my personality

And the challenges I face, and a little about how I am trying my best to work with what I've got.

I thought it would be smart to tell a little more about my personality traits,
So that people more easily can understand where I am coming from.

I am a person that doesn't stick to one specific subject. For example, a marathon runner is interested in running, and can focus on that and nothing more (in that kind of way) for the rest of his life. I can't do this. I want to study everything. I want to do everything. To be a person like me in this society isn't easy, and people like me are not valued as much. To be like this is often seen as a negative thing. We praise the people who is good at that one thing. We build teams with people who specialize in one thing. Especially hard is it to earn money and get an education.  Because my interests always has a limit, and I always move on to a new thing. I am not a master in anything, but I know a lot about a lot.

I fall completely in love with ideas, concepts and people, I think, talk and walk that one thing for a period of time. My friends and family know this about me, how I can talk and talk and talk about that one thing! But as every crush, the feelings are doomed to pass at some point. It's really hard to combine all of my interests in one job, because they are so different. Here are some of the stuff I want to do/become:
I want to be a DJ playing at big electronic festivals like Tomorrowland, I want to become an Norwegian folk singer, an astrophysicist, I want to work at the theater, I want to become totally self sufficient and not work at all. I want to become a sheep farmer, I want to become a midwife, I want to work at a center for rape victims, I want to have my own small company etc etc....

To get an education is challenging because you have to focus on one subject over a long time,
and it's hard to choose which subject to study, because I am interested in so many different subjects that doesn't have anything to do with each other. I can easily feel that I am loosing precious time learning about other stuff, and I know that I will loose my interest at one point.
When I get what I want out of one subject I move on to the next one.
To give you a better idea of what I mean about subjects:
How to work with clay, crop circles, Norwegian litterature, vikings, body language, a language, a country, about elegance and all that follows, about vulgarity and all that follows, about feelings, I can dedicate weeks only learning about anger or jealousy, business models, how they make rockets, how to make your own shoes, your own dress, your own soap, survivalism, veganism, hunting, butchering, spirtiuality and religion, atheism etc etc

All of this doesn't mean that people like me can't reach their goal, that they can't get an education, that they can't finish projects. I almost always finish projects, perhaps in my own way, and perhaps I learn something completely different than expected from doing different stuff.
I've worked at the theater for 4 months now, and it made me realize that I want to finish what I started when I was 18 years old, to finish my astrophysics journey.

I know one thing is certain, and that is that some of my interests and dreams (some of them listed above) show up in my life again and again, like a spiral. Every time I learn a little more about the subject, and it may take days, months or years until the next time it shows up in my life.
In the meantime I am busy learning about everything else.

I see enormous value in being like this, but I also see a lot of challenges. I learn more and more about myself every day, and I search like crazy to find ways to reach my goal while not ignoring the way I am.

I recently found an author called Barbara Sher, and she calls a person like me a "scanner", and people that's not like me a "diver".  I've also found out that personality traits like mine was once treasured. I think they called it the renaissance people, the ones who was interested in both arts and science.
Well, I have not learned enough about this yet, but this is actually one of my main subjects this months. To learn about my personality trait and hear other perspectives on it.

And yes, I am still studying jazz. And I am starting to study mathematics again, because I really truly want to become an astrophysicist, perhaps when my son is grown up.  ;D

Stay tuned for more madness to come!

søndag 11. januar 2015

Personal studies


My name is Julianne.

I love something that I call personal studies.
By this I mean that I take on the role of both the teacher and the student, and I learn about different subject, and go more in depth in all of them.

For example, this year I am learning about jazz.

I give myself homework to do. And I give myself different classes.
In my jazz studies, I obviously listen to a lot of jazz, different genres of jazz.
I sing jazz and learn about the different techniques jazz singers use. I also try to incorporate using other instruments, in my case a guitar and a penny whistle (yeah it's actually possible to play jazz on it). I learn about jazz history, and about some of the important names etc.
I do study other subjects while doing the jazz studies.
But this is my main subject this year.

Why I do it? 

Well, it's something that's very natural to me. I've always taken all of my interest to the next level.

I am a person that loves a lot of things, and I change very quickly, in both values, life styles, interests, fashion etc. I always rearrange the furniture in my house, change up my looks, my music, my views on life, I am in constant change, more than anyone I know. I've struggled with this for many years. Some people have a hard time taking people like me seriously, because we can seem to be easily influenced and quite confused really. For many years I've tried to fit in a mold, to fit in together with a group, but I never seem to be satisfied with this. So I've embraced the fact that I love to study everything, question everything and that I have an incredible open mind, I can't stick to just one thing, if I really needed to call myself something, I guess I would be a student. I'm like a running river, not like a steady mountain.

Another reason would be that ordinary school just don't keep up to speed with me.
And I like to decide for myself when, where and what to study.

Why do I want to share this on a blog?

I've come to the realization that I learn A LOT by doing this.
Often when I study, I take on the role of what I study. I like to live the perspective,
and by doing this I become more open and less judging, something I wish for other people in this world. When I say I become the perspective, doesn't mean that if I study about serial killers, I become a serial killer! I don't take it that far :P

Though I can take it far when it's for a good cause. when I was studying about permaculture and gardening, I started doing this myself, I got friends that was doing it, I even joined a course, I got a flock of hens (which I still have) and I basically was driven by enthusiasm and learned a lot.

The most important thing I learned is to be open. I can have empathy and understand so many different types of values, lifestyles and religions, because I've been there and understood it.
This doesn't mean that I am perfect and all loving, but it's a gift that I've given myself. And it takes hard work.

I think it's important to share my perspective, because I have not seen a blog like this anywhere else. Everyone nowadays wants the be a preacher for a personality. People even become famous on social media for fronting one set of interest or personality. So when a young person that doesn't identify with much sees all this, they think it's something wrong with them, just like I did.
And then, maybe they'll find my blog, and they'll find out that it's awesome to be like this, that you can use it for the better!

What am I going to share on this blog?

The different subject I've studied. How I do it. How I keep on doing it.
How it is to be this kind of person, that doesn't belong anywhere.
How to be this person in the middle of everything, the person
who agrees with both sides, or none of them. How one
can have a lot of interests, and still learn a lot about them, how to stick
with one subject for a period of time.
How to not procrastinate things.
How to feel a sense of purpose in a world that wants you to stick a label on yourself!